5 Health-Enhancing and Life-Lengthening Benefits of Grandparenting
Parenting. As any mother or father can tell you, it’s not easy. Rewarding, for sure, often joyous, but it’s still a job that can sometimes feel overwhelmingly challenging. (Remember the terrible two’s? The teen years?) But, when all those years of parenting give rise to the next generation and you become a grandparent, delight becomes the default.
When, just over three years ago, my grandson came into my life, I was surprised by the indescribable joy he brought to it. Watching him grow physically, mentally, emotionally has become a source of profound fascination for me. Witnessing him discovering new things as he awakens to the world around him is a thing of beauty. And, seeing how much he loves having my wife, Janice and me spend time with him, fills us with love and gratitude as we nurture this very special, life-long relationship. But beyond the joy this honored role brings, for those lucky enough to be grandparents, or serve as de facto grandparents to little ones, there are so many other benefits that come along with it. So, my advice is simple: embrace the role as actively as you possibly can and do yourself and the next generation a world of good. As a somewhat cynical friend of mine once remarked to me, “Being a grandparent is about the only thing in this world that isn’t overrated.” Here are a few of the things that you can look forward to:
Grandparenting is an anti-depressant that helps keep your brain young.
You could almost think of time spent with the grandkids as an anti-aging activity. While hanging with the young ones won’t totally turn back the clock, grandparenting time can help keep brain-agers like depression at bay, keeping cognitive function sharper. A Boston University study found that an emotionally close grandparent-adult grandchild relationship and all that quality bonding time was associated with fewer symptoms of depression for both generations. In another study, published in the Journal of the North American Menopause Society, found that older women who spent one day a week babysitting their grandkids scored highest on cognitive tests, suggesting a link between grandparenting and staying on top of your mental game. Another feather in the grand parenting cap? Turns out social connectedness and a sense of belonging can boost longevity, support a better ‘healthspan’ and overall feelings of well-being – all big pluses in the brain health department.
Keep in mind though we’re talking a few hours a week – not about providing full-time care in place of working parents or parents who, for whatever reason, can’t do the job. Unfortunately, that type of grandparenting can have the opposite effect, contributing to more rapid aging in the older set by raising stress levels, blood pressure and depression risk.
Grandparenting teaches the essential skill of mindfulness and living ‘in the moment.’
Have an always ‘on,’ overly-active brain? Or a restless temperament that Buddhists often refer to as ‘monkey mind’? Time with grandkids is an excellent way to slow down the monkey mind, putting the brakes on the high-revving pace that may be your (less than ideal) norm. Time all but stops when you’re reading a book to a little one or building a fort made of blocks. You’re focused on the activity you’re engaged in. It’s almost impossible to multi-task, and that’s all to the good. You’re learning to go with the flow, to be in the moment and be completely present with the little person you’re interacting with.
If you’ve struggled with mindfulness practices before, grandparenting time can make it virtually a no-brainer (pun intended). Two more big upsides to being in the moment: increased feelings of happiness and contentment as you live in the now instead of dwelling on past regrets or fears for the future; and enhanced self-awareness which can help ease feelings of anxiety and help regulate mood, both of which benefit health, head-to-toe.
Grandparenting reconnects you with play and playfulness.
Interacting with grandkids catapults you back to that feeling of primal child-like fun that can seem so elusive when we’re tied up in the busy world of ‘adulting.’ With grandparenting time, you can easily reconnect with a sense of wonder and playfulness. When you spend time with grandkids, that playfulness reconnects us with a rarely nurtured aspect of ourselves, like our (sometimes) forgotten worlds of discovery and imagination.
As a doctor focused on serious matters much of the week, I find that a few hours spent playing with my grandson gives me the opportunity to take a few hours to ‘time-out’ from adult-mode, inspiring me to see the world through his eyes, to act like a kid, to be silly and connect with this little person on a wonderfully childish level.
Ok, so let’s say you have a few friends who, as much as you love them, may kvetch a bit too much about aches and pains or dwell too much on the ‘Debbie Downer’ aspects of life. If this sounds familiar, consider spending a little more play time with the grandkids as the antidote!
Grandparenting helps you live longer and healthier.
One of my patients told me that when her son Owen was born, her delighted older brother-in-law thanked her for giving his then-80-year-old mother another 15 years of life, and a new buddy to love. He was right on both counts – she and Owen adored each other, and she passed at 95, a proud, much-loved grandma. Fact is, just about everyone wants to stay healthy for as long as possible, but there’s nothing quite like the birth of a grandchild to help bring that goal into laser focus. And a grandchild is quite a motivator to keep moving – to up the odds of being there for many moments both big and small, from baby smiles and gurgles through graduations and beyond. Simply put, staying active is one of the most important things grandparents can do to increase their longevity. Studies have shown that grandparents tend to be more active than older adults without grandkids, and they seem to live longer too. The thinking is that expending more energy by moving more helps ward off life-shorteners like heart disease, diabetes and neurological decline. Remaining active also helps keep joints lubricated and muscles primed so you’re ready – and physically able – to play anytime the little guys are. Staying active now, and in the future, can help keep you around at least long enough to dance at your grandchild’s wedding, and hopefully longer – so let your grandchild be your inspiration to take especially good care of yourself.
Grandparenting gives your immune system a boost too.
As we age, keeping the immune system strong is another essential element for maintaining health and longevity – and here too, your grandkids can help. So, what’s the protocol? Hugs. Hand-holding too. A hug from a little one (and, grownups too) releases oxytocin, the ‘love hormone’ which helps lower the release of cortisol (the stress hormone) levels, supporting feelings of relaxation and calm. What’s more, exposure to touch can help lower blood pressure, lower heart rate, raise white blood cell counts and tame inflammation, so, my advice: more hugs and holding hands with the grandkids. Strengthening immunity never felt so good!
Lastly, if you don’t have grandchildren just yet, or they’re not part of the plan, don’t despair or pressure your kids to procreate. You still can reap some of the health benefits by providing emotional support to others. You can also enjoy hugs and cuddles from a pet – with dogs topping the affection list – to help fill the gap. Not only will that physical contact and emotional connection deliver a dose of oxytocin but caring for another living being will help keep you more physically and socially active. And did we mention, you’ll have more fun, too? Count us in.